Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
