Plan B is the new Plan A
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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