never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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