Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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