She is in my trunk
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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