help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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