Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize