Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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