Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
