its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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