i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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