Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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