I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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