I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
