When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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