4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize