"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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