i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just had sex bonerless
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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