Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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