return my video game
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
