do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
