is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
