I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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