I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
vagina is talking i cant
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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