I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
