she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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