That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Randomize