You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
