I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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