I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
