Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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