If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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