found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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