Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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