I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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