why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't deserve a penis
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
