he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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