The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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