DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
