I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
