Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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