I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
tell me about the fingering
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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