It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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