windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
