I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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