I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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