I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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