Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
