i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
