when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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