We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
