No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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