I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
