with your own penis?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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