If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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