I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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