you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
