Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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