I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
