I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
