Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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