coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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