I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I AM VODKA MAN
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
