Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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